Quote:
Originally Posted by The Green Manalishi
Sounds like mine. It took me years to realize that everything she ever did for me or said to me was only to maintain some sort of control. She's a control freak to the nth degree. I thought she had my best interest, but I wish I could have saw what her agenda was sooner.
She cut me deeply, and I have scars that will probably never heal. I love and resent the hell out of her at the same time.
I stopped trying to please her years ago because nothing will ever be good enough either. I still get a sinister grin remembering all the times when she would spew this garbage about how my actions where a reflection of hers among her fellow church members. Pffft.
I hope you find a way to break that hold.
|
Thanks, me too - I'm actually cross with myself more than her, because I can't seem to break away emotionally. My husband points out I need to let it slide off me - I can sometimes just not consistently.
Sorry you have similar issues, saying your actions being a reflection of hers sounds a very self absorbed/narcissistic thing to say, and very controlling. We are all our own person., no way should anyone ever put that burden onto you.
I have no idea why my mother needs to control others (she does it to my father and sister too) , I know there will be things in her background which have shaped her. I wish I knew the hows and whys she came to be like she is, if I did I feel it would be easier to have compassion and shrug off the criticism.
It took me a long time to figure out she did not always have my best interest at heart too. Other people in my life had pointed it out to me long before I finally realised it.