Quote:
Originally Posted by Myrto
My therapist never stated rules about emailing because I think she had never had the experience of a client emailing. It is obvious to me now. She created a spécial email address for me and I have only realized now that it's because I am the only client emailing her. My T has less than 10 years of experience. She reacted badly to sth she saw as harassement.
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This is where I see indications that your T went off the rails, Myrto. A well trained T should really be questioning herself if she finds herself considering or doing something "special" for a client. As much as we'd all like to be treated "special", in a therapeutic setting, such behavior on the part of the T usually leads to BIG problems. A T who performs "special" things for a particular client is usually not looking at her own personal reasons for doing so. If she did examine those reasons, with a well-trained supervisor and/or peer, she would usually discover that her reason for doing so is wrapped up in her own NEED to be the rescuer or savior of the client. What she hasn't realized is that her OWN needs will eventually trip her up. By trip her up, I mean that the T will eventually reach a point where she gets overwhelmed or doesn't receive the admiration/appreciate SHE requires in order to maintain the behavior she has encouraged or said she has "no problem with".
I'm not opposed to a T individualizing her treatment approach to clients, but when she encourages a particular approach in therapy (ie. emailing, texting, calling) and then gets angry or punitive when the client actually uses those methods of communication because they overwhelm the T, I want to say to the T, "Uh, did you not think about or consider that this might happen? If you had taken a moment to consider the possibility that the client's idea of emailing is two emails a day or ten a week and yours was one email once a month, how can you think that you're a role model on how to communicate your needs appropriately!?" It is craziness that T's who don't think things through dump on the client by threatening or terminating a client for something like this. Changes in treatment boundaries is a negotiation; a negotiation that BOTH members (T AND the client) get to discuss and decide upon. it's ridiculous that the T, who failed to communicate her perception of what her own boundaries are in clear and concise terms, gets to lash out and punish the client when she doesn't like how the client views her vaguely defined boundaries. I really am so sorry that you're having to put up with this craziness.