I'd like to ask what some of you'd do in this situation.

First of all, I love my boyfriend and want what's best for him, but I also love myself (or am at least trying to) and want what's best for me as well. So, I'm trying to find the right compromise on this situation. Or at least understand it a bit better.

My boyfriend and I had a conversation about my unmet needs. I tried to be as calm and understanding as possible. I mentioned how him and I have discussed it in the past, but no change has happened, so I have to figure out how to cope with what will be lacking in my wants. I mentioned that if I don't make a change to feel more secure, our relationship might be on the line. He started crying, which was unusual for him, and was very supportive, and mentioned how much he wants us to be together.

I was surprised by that, and was happy that he was so happy with me.

However, the next day, I felt the tug of needing him again. He and I had very little conversation. We did some sexual stuff together and cuddled a bit, then he left and continued to spend time alone. The thing is, I love him very much and want to spend a lot of my time with him. I'm okay with holding this feeling back since he and I need separate lives as well, and I know he'll be around to spend time with later. However, what should I make of this? He went back to spending a lot of time alone. I feel like it's probably my problem and that I'm being too clingy, so I've backed off from asking him to spend time with me a lot. I've been reading books on codependency, since the environment I grew up in and my temperament seem to indicate that learning to deal with its symptoms could help.

Has anyone gone through this? If your loved one did this, what would you do or change to cope?