The bolded part feels super relevant. I have this same problem. I will do things and then it's like, huh, oh yeah, actually I like this thing, or I can empathize and relate with the feelings of other people or certain situations, but those feelings don't stay with me past that moment, and also I quickly forget I had them or what it was like to have them. I noticed that each insider has their own history of the things they feel. And when things trigger them I go, oh, I remember this feeling, I forgot I had it in me. I don't lose time but I do lose emotional time... I lose meaning.

It's like a lot of things happen but most of the time, nothing sticks. Or, I'm not aware of where inside it sticks to, so it doesn't feel like anything has stuck.

I used to be so bombarded by life that I never had the time to slow down and even realize that I kept changing/switching so drastically like that. No co-consciousness. I was just a different person to every outside person in my life and nothing stayed consistent. But I avoided and isolated too much and after long enough of that, once I had gotten really alone, that was when I saw how empty I felt without something or someone else to trigger one of my insiders and make me feel defined.

And I couldn't see a path to a "normal" life of knowing who I am because I didn't know what I felt or which direction I would want to go in. I didn't have any clue what was meaningful to me.

I realized that, just like dissociation protects me from constant awareness of the bad stuff, it also prevents me from remembering the good. When feelings come up, if I don't ever change the original bad circumstances somehow, then they will just go away again.

It's like my insiders are locked inside feeling bad and they stay locked inside because when they come out I feel bad, so I push them away again and avoid the thing that triggered them..

Rather than locking them inside, I have to set boundaries or modify the outside world so it won't feel as bad and my insiders won't have to get locked away again.

But also if I entirely avoid the things that will make them feel bad, then they will never have a reason to come out, and again nothing will change.

I guess that's my problem. I can't always have inner communication because most of the time the inside is quiet and nobody's even around to communicate..

What I'm doing is trying to constantly try new things, however small, even if I feel empty or don't feel like anything at all, I just need to keep trying new things. Even if it's quiet inside. I just force myself to remember that I will probably feel something and it will be helpful in the end as long as I'm paying attention to how the experience goes, whether or not I'm feeling anything. Then while I'm trying new things I can communicate with those insiders who get triggered and hopefully help them realize they don't have to feel as bad.

Sorry if the way I'm writing this is kind of dry and analytical, but... well that's just how I, the host or whatever, am.