So I've actually been feeling a lot better for the past 4 weeks or so; I think my medication increase is actually working. All that sounds great right? I guess it is but at the same time I don't feel like myself. I'm also worried that T will get bored of me and terminate me if I'm doing well. I know it doesn't make any sense but I still think about it. I feel as though my depression and anxiety have become part of my identity and part of me isn't ready to give that up and a part of me kind of wants T to be concerned about me. I realise how messed up that sounds.

Also, I still feel really guilty about facebook stalking my T. I've already written a post about this but for those who didn't read it, I went to great lengths to find my T's facebook profile. My T practices under her maiden name but uses her married name on facebook so I know she would be extremely creeped out if I told her I found her and her husband on FB. My T is on leave this week and after checking her FB, I saw that she had changed her profile picture to one of her and her husband on a cruise. I feel bad that I know this but I'm scared T would hate me forever and terminate me if I told her. I don't know what to do. As a psychodynamic T I know that she wants me to know as little about her as possible but I actually know quite a lot about her. I was thinking of just asking T what would be the reasons she would terminate someone just to see if this would be an issue but I'm scared to ask.