The second one is a bit hard to say, as I found I got a feeling for my psychologist. This is one of the reasons that I stop visiting him. I had visted him for nearly half a year,he helped me to have a new angle to view my family issues,especially my mums. He also helped me to rebuild confidence , positive lookback on my childhood,as I was not happy at my primary's schooling. But what make me noe feel not right is even after I stop to see him,i still think of him frequently,this is sad that I know this is just transference,not a real love and maybe just a reflection that I'm a kind of person who lack love. I never entered a relationship,though some men adore me,but in the end never an relationship occur. I guess this maybe a very first time that I find a man fully listen to me such a long time so I got a crush on him.
I know the most effective way for me is to turn back to express the whole feeling to him ,and to seek ways to solve it ( He knew I got a feeling on him,but didn't know the intensity,and I dont know why I found I couldn't as fully trusted on him at the later stages of visiting) I also consider to find a new psychologist,but as I said,the fee here is not easy to afford for ordinary citizens for regular visit,and I thought I already spent a lot . And its not easy for me to find another psychologist,talking once again my old long problem plus these issue. I'm now ,stucked at a point that I don't know what to do,feel the pain but lack the motivation to change. I actually wanted to start a joirnal to write down my pain suffering now , do you guys think its a good start?