I'm a non, too, but may have issues of (mostly) covert narcissism. I adopted the others' criticism as my own and numbed out my own sense of my own perspective. Not a very good way, either. May help explain what drove your mother, possibly? It wasn't really "you" and "your" behavior she was talking about, it was an external standard that she had been held to in her life, too (that's the covert narcissism factor?). "It was the way things used to be." People didn't complain about it so much because, then, it was "normal".

Doesn't change the effect on you -- that's progress, probably, over numbing out.