Quote:
Originally Posted by justme1234
I think the biggest issue that I have is that she knew, and I think I understood that when I provide my friendship to somebody, it's solid. I can't go into a friendship thinking that one day I won't ever see them. With my other friends, sure I don't get to see them at anytime I want, but I know they will make time for me at some point. If they need help, I'm there to offer whatever I can, I enjoyed that part of friendship also, providing it.
The first time that she said we were friends I fought it and fought it, and she made me believe.it just makes me feel really horrible that she's never going to treat me like an actual friend.
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I went through similar misery. It was even worse because I was also caught in a terrible obsessive love/desire nightmare with my therapist, on top of the basic connection. But fundamentally the issue was that the relationship would never be what I wanted or needed it to be. And yet, it felt close enough to the real thing to provoke the associated feelings.
I found it to be a cruel and reckless thing. Letting a client get that close knowing that it's a dead end. Forging that sort of intimacy then reminding the client they are a paying customer and it's all just a game. Like you I need authentic and mutual relationships, not contrived and heavily bound ones that can end at any moment based on the whims of the therapist.