Is the father insistent that the current and local visitation schedule remain as is, despite his move? Or is she pushing this as he was the one, if I read correctly new posts, who left?

Either way, children do not belong in the middle. It takes a long time, if not a lifetime, if ever to reconcile being a pawn. That was my childhood experience, it was both overt and covert.

I do hear your expressed concern about a 13 year old with being babysat. Independence comes with little moments of testing the waters. Trust can be earned that way. Could a prepaid cell phone help alleviate the worry? It can be a wonderful experience breaking down barriers of fear and watching them grow into someone who understands where the lines are drawn as far as personal life decisions.

Or do they live in a dangerous neighborhood where it's legitimized to worry about them walking out the door?

My ex is such a worry wart on many things. I actually let my kids go to the park which is nearby, without me. 13 years old in my geographic area is old enough to watch over siblings only. And 10 is old enough to be alone. Not that I go off to far away lands or anything. But if one is sick from school, a few hours is ok. Not that my younger two get sick much. It's my teen that has a few too many sick days than I like, but his pediatrician has been informed by me and he's physically healthy. He's well within school guidelines. 5-6 days a school year, is too many in my book. At the same time, I went through similar in my teens. Fatigue it was. He sleeps late on those days. Only misses seeing me by about an hour. I know most every friend. Aquainted with most every parent of these friends. Plus his cousins, the 4 of them are within 2.5 years of one another. The other "win" by moving back here. They go to school together, well had, high school split them up this year.

I'm rambling and at a loss. Not a complete loss, my ex would have mine in my constant sight had I remained married. Controlling the situation and moreso of me in that overbearing sense.