I look for the gray so maybe that makes a difference :-)

If I can get concrete examples of things, use my imagination to help and entertain me, I can look for "them".

Gray is one of my favorite "colors" (as is a warm brown) and I have a couple gray throws to keep me warm if I'm sitting doing something in the living room in winter, etc. I'd associate the gray with what I like and then go looking for that. Black and white are "stark" to me (though I like black as a "color" too with others), kind of like stainless steel kitchens? I want wood kitchens, a big, old, beaten up farm table and an open window with calico curtains, etc. So, if I catch myself feeling "sharp" and caring too much what another person thinks or does then I know I'm in my stainless steel kitchen and need to cross over to the comfy farm kitchen. I wander off and start making a loaf of bread :-) That gets me thinking about me only and what I'm doing and thinking and feeling and want for me instead of what I want for someone else (that they behave, think, feel in a way I want them to).