That's what I've realized. I think happiness is more about specific events in life instead of overall state of being. I have moments when I really am truly happy -- horsing around with my kids, family gatherings, singing with my chorus, etc., but I also have moments of great sadness or stress or anger that are also event-contingent (deaths, illness, money issues, etc.) It's all just part of living.

Contentment isn't about it all being okay. Contentment is about accepting that life events are what they are, for good and bad. We don't have to like what is happening at the moment, but we can realize that those moments and events are something that can be experienced and managed, gotten through and moved beyond.

I do want to say there is a difference between feelings and mood states. I used to not even realize that there was a difference. I lived for decades in a very depressed mood state, very often not at all tied to what was happening in my life -- just a constant, persistent severely depressed mood. I also lived with crippling anxiety due to PTSD symptoms. That absolutely was not an okay place to "live" and it took meds and therapy to get me to a place where that mood state wasn't coloring everything in my life gray. But once we finally had that mood state under control, I was finally able to see the difference between normal fluctuating feelings (happiness, sadness, grief, anxiety) and serious problems with mood. I can remember when my sister died, my therapist had to teach me about normal grief so that I could see that what I was experiencing was normal for such a loss -- it wasn't pathological and it wasn't something I needed to be scared of; I was so used to depression that I couldn't recognize normal sadness and grief. It was eye-opening to recognize I was capable of experiencing normal emotions without them becoming pathological. I had rarely been able to do that in my life previously.

I say all that because I don't want anyone to read this thread and misunderstand what I am saying. Many of us live in mood states that are outside the "bell-curve" of average mood fluctuations. I don't want anyone to misconstrue what I am saying as they should just get over their depression or anxiety or whatever. It is SO not that easy. What I am saying is that it IS possible to eventually reach a place where one can experience normal/average feelings and all the normal/average fluctuations that go with them, and not have them be such severe extremes that they are creating serious problems in your life.

It was really an awakening for me to really be able to distinguish between the two.