Update:

Things did not go so well with my doctor today. I really thought about what I wanted to say, and explain myself. Well, he did not agree. And I can tell he was getting agitated with me. His immediate response was "let's try lexapro!" and I said "Shouldn't we taper off the zoloft before we add something else?" And he disagreed and started getting annoyed with me for asking.. he then implied I was making up that insomnia is a side effect of zoloft and metoprolol, and said that "you will probably find some other weird side effect to have a reason to go off meds." He implied that I need to be on anti-depressants forever, in order to be "stable." He also said something about how he has worked with so many people with mood disorders like me, and no one ever had insomnia from zoloft....firstly, I don't and never had "a mood disorder." I have freaking anxiety. Even when I am super anxious, I never am depressed! I never lost motivation for things, didn't get bummed out for long periods of time, etc.. but when I started the zoloft, I started feeling hopeless! THIS WAS NOT CHARACTERISTIC OF ME. Anyway, I could tell he was getting frustrated. He "gave in" and said I could drop down to take 1/2 a pill, so 25mg. Needless to say, it was stressful. I walked out of the appointment, went to my car and cried out my frustration to my mom. I then called my ObGyn, who is an excellent doctor, and the receptionist passed on information to me about another local Primary Care clinic with a great new PA I could try. In fact, I had researched this place already and heard it was a good one! I called and am getting in right away next week to start with them. I am looking forward to it. I knew that I probably needed to switch doctors, and today was definitely a sign of that. I can't feel like I'm afraid to be myself, or that my doctor is condescending. I find it very offensive that he dismisses my concerns, and makes it sound like everything is my anxiety... mind you, I am a freaking psychologist, I know about neurotransmitters, and other coping skills, and I know I can live without being on an AD. Yes, sometimes it is hard, but I function just fine!!! Thank you guys for listening and supporting me. After the appointment I went to the gym and went to a relaxing yoga class, it helped a lot. I think going through this is making me a stronger person, and I'm realizing anxiety isn't something to get rid of, it's a survival mechanism, we just need to learn how to challenge it and drive it, and not let it drive us. I want to write a letter to my anxiety and apologize for trying to get rid of it. There are underlying reasons for everything, and I look forward to figuring them out, with the help of professionals that are supportive and not dismissive. Off my soapbox!