Unless he reminds you of your father I don't see this is transference.

I thought transference was when we transfer the feelings we have for others onto individuals because they remind us somehow of them. Like recently with my T, she was talking to me scientifically and not really interacting with me emotionally. This reminded me of my Dad, I realised later, and I taransferred the negative feelings I have for him, onto her, in that moment. She was different though, I could have talked to her and she would have responded non defensively, whereas my Dad would not have, and I didn't realise that in the moment because of the transference.

Me wanting my T to be my Mum sometimes is less transference and more a deep desire based around the fact that I was never 'mothered' as a child. My body and heart are still missing that and so they want that from T, along with a lot of other things. I am glad that my T does provide the other things such as warmth and caring, touch and closeness, relating and listening and therefore my desire to have her as a Mother is very limited.

Maybe Isome would say I am wrong in my interpretation of transference but I don't think I am. Is it wrong to want something that you have never had that you should have had? I don't think it is. Is it wrong to admit that you want someone to care about you deeply like a parent does a child? No, I don't think it is either.

I have no experience in working through it like you asked, I am afraid, but I know that the longing does not really cause me any pain because I know that she is there for me however I need or want her to be, within the confines of the therapeutic relationship of course. Sorry if this wasn't any help.