so sorry jinny that you are having a rough time right now.

This may sound dumb to some people-- but I'm trying to learn to put words with my past and my feelings. It helped me, though it was VERY difficult, to read "A child called it" and the 2nd book "The lost boy" and then the final book-- "A man named Dave". Those books have helped me to find words that I couldn't before. I still don't talk much about my childhood, as it's so extremely hard for me-- but thanks to books and the bravery of people like Dave Pelzer, I'm learning a lot about moving forward. He's given me hope. Sure there are upsetting events in his books (as I cried and struggled to read on-- but knew it was to my betterment to do so..)... and I'd be right back in my childhood... but somehow, it helped me to see I'm not alone and that there is some reprieve.

I think for some-- the path to healing is straight through the feeling. Feel those feelings, learn why you have them and validate them, even if no one else will be there in person with you-- you can be your own best friend....... and --we are here too, post all you need to or you can also PM.

I hope you get some mountains, solitude and peace.

I understand the sleeping pill relationship..... taking them as husband staggers into the room in his intoxicated state--- they help ease the upset of feeling that I'm not very important.

thinking of you jinny-

mandy ps-- sorry, not been posting much lately, so busy, which causes stress, which causes clouded commotion in my head.