Hi Pink...thanks for responding!
Well, yea, i see what you mean about her setting boundaries but she self discloses minially unless i ask. and i do. everything i've ever asked, shes answered and i've asked a lot, even personal stuff. i guess i keep asking because i get surprised when she never puts a halt to it. although she waits for my questions, there seems to be nothing off limits and she engages in similar things i like and we talk a lot about that.

while i like this, i also dislike this. I know i am floundering between what do i want etc, but i keep 'testing' her i think subconcsiously and 'pushing' with the questions, but she's happy to oblige and when i read about other ts on here i think, wow mine is super open to me and has said things to me i don't think other ts would.

I don;t want to console her, but i feel like the consolation from a friend would be different than one from a therapist, so while we get along and the friend thing feels right, i feel like she "switches" in and out of modes and i'm not sure which mode i want for her to be.....my friend or my t.

we have always been open to expressing our thoughts/feelings for one another and discussing it in session (always my favorite topic-transference probably ha!) and i have been very clear with her that i struggle with boundaries around friendships (not lovers for some reason) and that i continue still to struggle with this, with her.

i am hoping because she knows i have the boundary issues, she's doing this on purpose, for the good of me as i don't feel yet exploited. but what if she doesn't have a master plan and i am on and aimless road? i don't know if its gone too far, i know i still want to see her, but i am hyper critical of her and she seems to not be able to win with me either way.

i thought my T would be austere and i wouldn't "like" her so much! maybe our so called "boundary crossings" are relatively minor and i trust she isn't misusing it, but i am really suprised how far, and how different it is from others' when i read their posts here. i know all ts are different, but i am in compare mode.