I've been posting a lot recently.
I moved out of the state where I grew up to move across the country with my boyfriend. I didn't only move for him: I've always wanted to get out and see the rest of the country (and the world!) and I have a lot of goals in life that depend on me moving around. I was restless here. I wanted out. I know that.
Everything seemed to go great after the move. I had a job within a week. I wasn't in debt. Everything was great.
Then I lost my job. It was horrible. The story is on the site somewhere: it was really bad. Now I'm broke. My bank account is overdrawn. I have no friends in the new state, no prospects...I've been applying and applying and nothing. On top of that, the culture shock is insane. I can't relate to the people.
My mom flew me home for a weekend because of how bad my week has been. And now I'm sitting in here, in my childhood room, and all I can think is that I have to leave here on Monday, and I can't stop crying. I can't explain it. I feel so sad. I don't want to go back.
This is silly. I'm an adult, I can't live in my childhood room forever. I wanted out, I wanted to move, I was so excited about it, and I loved it in the new place. But right now, I seriously feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I'm sorry if there are typos, I can barely see. I'm so, so, so, so, so sad. I'm so heartbroken to have to leave on Monday and I am dreading it. I want to stay here with my friends and family. Is this normal? Am I crazy? How do you ddeal with crazy homesickness? I thought coming home would be a respite and help me feel better, but I feel so much worse.