I can't offer suggestions on making it better because I'm in the same boat. All I do is post on here and try not to think about my life. But somehow it helped me to read this and know that I'm not totally alone: others are going through similar situations. I watch Gossip Girl and pretend I'm Blair Waldorf without a care in the world...but that's probably not good advice, because that's just denial in disguise. I guess what I can offer is that you aren't alone. Here's a hug.