Hi brainy,
I'm impressed with your self-reflection here. It shows remarkable insight and self-awareness. . . . You also have humility and empathy . . . You're also able to put yourself in his position . . . You know, these qualities and abilities are not as common as you might think and I bet your man appreciates them.
Regarding the situation you described:
You have a few things going for you: 1) you are aware of your moods and behavior 2) you know how to reflect on your behavior and see it through others' eyes 3) you truly care about the other persons' experience and point of view 4) he sounds understanding and patient (and I'm sure have a lot of other things going for you in this situation too)

When I read your post I see a good kind person who is continuing to grow and learn. Do you know what your preferred alternative response you would like to choose in the future (when encountering situations similar to the one you describe above)? Is it something you can work on? I'm sorry I don't know much about your illness and I don't want to be presumptuous.
Take care,
Jayne