Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby
I liked the ANP and EPs theory as it made sense to how I describe it to myself. But I was confused to the difference between apparently competent vs apparently normal - I was told they're related and I have it...but they're related not the same thing?!  I think I am competent and normal, I don't think I'm just "apparently so" but I think of it as having either some of bits that jump in and swamp my innate abilities or simply huge deficits. It's hard to know which.
But then another therapist said...oh gosh what's it called...
Oh ego states. But I didn't know what that was either and if it meant not dissociation or not. My therapist now will talk about the bits of me, but I feel she doesn't get that I'm swamped. I wonder if my "apparent competence" means peoole just think I'm being non-compliant or rude or something. But I'm trying hard underneath to hear and act as I would generally, and often failing.
How do I embrace it and acknowledge it? I have no trauma really, nothing as a memory. They say some stuff but I'm open to it being the catalyst but I've no interest feeling about it really. I want to move on. How can I even manage better on a day to day, week to week basis? How do you keep at work, have a family and friends etc? I want all those things. Thank you! |
a) Well, we still have one or two that view themselves as completely normal as well, buuuuut....
Well, I guess the main point here is that 'completely normal' people
don't have 'bits that jump in and swamp your innate abilities.'
Apparently that bit just ain't 'normal'!
b) I was just this evening reading about some therapists not being entirely up to par on dissociative theory and insisting on referring to dissociated states as 'ego states'.
They are not the same thing at all but unfortunately, those Ts that do it aren't aware of the difference. They just don't know what they don't know.
c) I get what you're saying. We have been there ourselves. You just want to be normal and simply not have this other stuff happen. Lawd knows our old hosty person fought that same good fight for years.
And how awful it is to want that so desperately but not be able to make it happen no matter how hard you try.
But sadly, those other ones are a part of you and they won't just give up and go away no matter how hard you fight them off / squash them down / or otherwise try to 'pray them away'. And to be honest, it would be a tragedy if that
could happen... because they are you, and if you lost them you would lose an innate, worthy, deserving and rightful part of your self.
It's your own journey. Walk it with care for your self.