Ha. You have a point, I feel normal though and competent and I get so irritated by these other things that happen. I guess I don't have anything similar to DID which must be very complicated to deal with. I'm hugely high functioning except when I'm completely not. Also I do tend to get into this state as I am today where it's hard to remember how it was yesterday. That whole lying thing - when people can't believe you're fine the next day after you've dropped into a depression and crying and everything but I am fine.

Well I don't know if she thinks they're dissociative states and maybe they're not. I'm not sure of the difference myself. I know they're all me, except they're not. What is the difference? How can I know which is which? Does it matter for therapy/treatment?

c) I get what you're saying. We have been there ourselves. You just want to be normal and simply not have this other stuff happen. Lawd knows our old hosty person fought that same good fight for years.
And how awful it is to want that so desperately but not be able to make it happen no matter how hard you try.
But sadly, those other ones are a part of you and they won't just give up and go away no matter how hard you fight them off / squash them down / or otherwise try to 'pray them away'. And to be honest, it would be a tragedy if that could happen... because they are you, and if you lost them you would lose an innate, worthy, deserving and rightful part of your self.

I don't mind one or two of them. I intensely value one or two of them. But I despise the useless ones that make me useless or act stupidly and cause issues..I hate lying in bed depressed for day/days or being over stimulated by lights and sounds and generally feeling as though all my nerves in my body are excited/overstimulated. I hate not being able to do my life the way I want or frantically running to catch up to everyone during the times im okay enough. It's exhausting and i don't want this life anymore. I'll accept them if they accept what I want..it's my life after all! It's not as if I can say to ppl at work this stuff, they expect competent me.

Do you know the difference between BPD traits, C-PTSD, DDNOS? And the AN-EPs? And ego states? Are they all ways of saying the same thing? I mean ultimately... I want treatment that helps, I don't need a label, just want my life now.

And thank you so much for answering. Any advice, help to get through the days, to stop losing my days to the emotions would be great!