Hi there,

I'm new to the Forums, but have been a ravenous reader of them for years.
I'm a 32 year old male. Have been on ADs since I started college - been on most every one. Also, in recovery from alcohol and drugs and have been for 6 years.

Long story short, I've never responded well to the ADs. They always make me too energetic, excitable, or have muscle tension or something else weird while elevating my mood. Recently, my doctor and I did a 3 month "wash out" period", and I was doing pretty fine without them, UNTIL I hit a really bad depressive episode while dealing some sinus infections and chronic migraine. Dr. called in Pristiq, and it made me so insomnia-ridden, I had to be leveled out with Seroquel. Basically, Seroquel didn't work, so now I'm on a steady dose of Prozac 20-30mg and using Zyprexa 2.5-5mg at night. The zyprexa WORKS, but I have high cholesterol and a history of yo-yo'ing with weight.

My doctor thinks I may be able to go without a mood stabilizer since I've gone my entire life thus far without one. However, it's been such a battle. Our plan is to take less of the Zyprexa and see. In my gut, though, I know I probably need a mood stabilizer, and the doctor has mentioned a low dose of Lamictal, Depakote or Lithium as what we'd try if I still needed a mood stabilizer after really getting stable.

So, is anyone else out there sliding somewhere on the scale between Bipolar II-VI? How did you eventually get your meds right? How were the transitions between mood stabilizers? What would you tell someone new to the world of mood stabilizers, who's scared of losing his brain and all the S/E's?

Of course you know I want a quick fix and know that isn't how this works, so I'm reaching out for support.

Any thoughts or positive experiences shared are really appreciated!

Thanks
M