Sula B,

Please forgive if, as always, I come across the wrong way. My sense of humor doens't bode well unless it's in person. Our relationship is "George Burns/Gracie Allen" type situation, where we jokingly always say we can't stand each other and how horrible we are, but are really in love and take care of each other -- even with our personal individual problems. We just have that wierd humor that is light and we like to laugh together and with friends that we are ready to throw each off the bridge. And yes, it is a 23 year old standing joke that he and I always like to do little things like me leaving fruit peals in the sink couple times a week, or i leave my dirty cup but put everything else in the dishwasher. He doesn't like that I smoke in the car, but we play our game f passive agressive, it's a wierd form of it, because we tell each other were going to do it. I told him awhile ago i was smoking in my car, which he barely rides in and he knows -- he isn't that thrilled -- but i don't put him in the position of getting into a stinky car without warning. Because that would be nasty and rude.
This morning he took the car and had it all cleaned out without me asking, which i tell him to just avoid my car.

We struggle with serious issues that i am seriou about and don't show any attempted humor in it. I haven't had cause yet to express any but they are there.

As for the rest of it, maybe you can see my severe co dependent, avoidant issues, with child hood ADHD, Dysthymia problems, and histrionic personality disorder traits that are the core of my posting which to me was witty in a sarcastic sense -- but never meant to shake up your opinion and view that I most usually will conjure in my writing. It's all rooting in avoidance and still working through the pain, trauma and the various **** we can relate to.

Thank you for saying something to me. I welcome reactions to anything I say and do now, as I want to continue my road to awareness of self and others and will never deny or refuse to acknowledge and consider what anyone else, outside of myself, has to say about a perception of my output.

its a f***kng struggle every minute, but the alternative isn't an option for me anymore.

and for anyone else here either!!!!!!!! When i go to bed at night and cry sometimes to let me die....., i know that when i wake up, it will be a new day.

i have to go and get my hair done. have a great Saturday everyone. Today is the best day for sitting at home watching great movies that make you laugh and cry at the same time -- As Good As It Gets!!