Anytime my husband is passive-aggressive, or defensive (which is hard for him to see), I am triggered and end up in severe pain. I have started hitting myself, as a result, and am feeling more reactive, because my threshold for dealing with this for years, has diminished.

I don't know how to cope, right now. I try to tell him to leave me alone, but then he continues his passive-aggressive, hurtful rants, as he walks away, and he continues by insulting me, or projecting.

We don't have a couple's counselor, because he has not been to enough individual therapy, yet. We have an appointment scheduled. He asked how he could help my pain, right now (he calms down once I come to the point of tears), and I told him he could go and learn how NOT to be passive-aggressive.

This sucks.