(((Hashi/bipolar mom)))

It's a really hard thing to feel like you can't trust yourself or know who you really are. I fought that battle, both at times I've been on various medications and at the original time of my diagnosis. I spent a fair bit of time pondering who I really was, as opposed to those things that were my BP. That's obviously different than the impact of medication (since BP is definitely a part of me), but the anxiety over who I really was caused a lot of turmoil.

I think Innerzone has some great advice for you - looking at yourself under a microscope and analyzing each of your actions, moods, statements, etc., is bound to create more anxiety about your concern, not less.