I'm sure if you talk to her she might be able to tell you more about the things she is unhappy about but that may need to be done in a therapy setting where there is a T as the mediator to help with the understanding.

I was the wife that finally left after 33 years. By that point I was MORE than JUST UNHAPPY, but I didn't have the words to explain exactly what in the world was bothering me but it definitely wasn't a sudden thing. The previous 13 years, I was just living under the same roof but in my own wing of the house. Unfortunately, I was financially unable to get a divorce & he made it more difficult then kept saying that 2 can live cheaper than one. Finally at the end told me that he didn't want a divorce because then it made him look like a failure.

There were red flags along the way & looking back in my situation there were red flags I ended up remembering existed even before the wedding.

I'm guessing there must have been red flags in your marriage that maybe were just ignored? We did go to counseling with the T that I was assigned in the mental hospital after an abusive situation occured.

He just couldn't grasp the problems or make the changes needed to really make a marriage work & the only reason it worked that long was the first 20 years, I was into my degree & my career & basically was able to avoid the marriage except to constantly clean up the messes he made.

It wasn't until I finally left & was able to look back at the marriage with an logical mind rather than being emotionally involved that I was able to see clearly all the things that were wrong with it & the fact that neither of us were capable of emotionally connecting basically with anyone, not just each other.

Unfortunately he has issues that keep him from maturing. For me, my best growth personally has been after getting out of the marriage & not jumping into another relationship. Sorting out my issues, growing & learning who I really am. If another possible relationship does come along, I have grown to know how to emotionally connect with others as it was something that I didn't grow up with nor did I live with a H who was capable of emotionally connecting so I had NO IDEA what in the world it even felt like.

The important thing is to determine what it is that she is unhappy about & maybe she needs to go to therapy in order to find the words to express it if she's anything like I was.....I just knew that I felt unhappy but didn't truly understand why until I was finally able to analyze myself & my marriage from a distance.

Honestly, IF there was a foundation to your marriage in the beginning, then counseling can help bring back what was there in the first place if too much damage hasn't already been done. By the time I left, I was going to get out one way or another & I had already tried for years the other ways when I was feeling so trapped. Even private therapy didn't help me to see that until after I left.