Have you ever just wished you could physically cut the pain away from you?

Today I was hurting so much, missing both the guy that died and the one that married someone else. I ached so deep in my heart. I found myself wishing I could cut my heart out, cut the pain away from me. Anyone know what I mean by that?

This lead to thoughts about just cutting on my chest. I thought about cutting an X over my heart.

I didn't cut, but I wanted to so much. I just know it wouldn't fix it. I can't cut this pain away. It's not a physical thing, but sometimes it almost feels like it is something physical that I could just cut off.

I wish it were that easy.