I don't know about all that. My sister says you are right but she is biased and I react negatively to complements of any kind.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just being contrarian because I have said no to my pdoc far more than I have said yes. Like I said, for my situation, switching meds is a huge deal and something I learned the hard way to be extremely cautious with. The only time I was acting out of irrationality is when I avoid the topic of ECT because that really scares me but maybe my pdoc sees me as needlessly argumentative.

A retired therapist on a vets site told me a lot of my fears are misplaced and that it could work wonders for someone like me, someone with a longstanding, deep and treatment-resistant depression. The guy seems very knowledgeable and is quite blunt and to the point which is something I respond well to.

I think old TV show and movies have discolored my perception of it. When I think electric shock, I think of an out of control psychotic being dragged kicking and screaming to get shocked. Stupid, I know, but I have trouble getting past that image.