does anyone who ws abuse as a young child really have strong thoughts on their abuser? I am terrified of the thoughts that go through my head.

I know it's unhealthy to hate, but I hate him with a passion. He totally ruined my life, trying to move on, but every aspect of my being has been touched badly by him, self confidence, self esteem, not being able to find that something to get out of it and cravings for revenge haunt me so badly.
He has made my family life hell, my guilt every day gets worse, I just can't handle it sometimes. How can I expect my family to understand and grasp my fears and anxieties. Maybe I was selfish to have children with so much pain in me. I love them so much though. They are my life, the only reason I am here.

metime