It is understandable for you to feel that way. You will need to work through and process those feelings if you want to get free from them. That pretty much takes therapy. It's too much to deal with on your own without support. Eventually, I hope that you get to a place where you can let go of those feelings, not for your abuser's sake, but for yours, because you are still being hurt, and you deserve to be able to live the rest of your life making your own choices and doing what you want to do with your life.

(((( hugs )))) if okay

Rap