Try this one on for size: You are not going to be able to figure it out on your own. Not in your present state of mind. If you don't trust anyone else, and go back to the road you were on, you're going to end up back in the hospital or worse.

We on this board have nothing to gain or lose by your actions. The only thing you have found here is love, acceptance, and support. If you don't trust your doctor and case worker, at least trust the fact that we have your best interests at heart. Take the advice offered, think it over, and make your best choice based on all the information available to you.