I was listening to my partner (made up name: R.) talking a couple of days ago about travel plans. She's not driving and her friend she was to be traveling with has a couple of free passes to an outdoor park she invited R. to join her in using.

R. rolled her eyes and said something annoyed or dismissive about this idea. I think it would be a cool adventure, but I kept my silence.

Then I said, "I know, it's not the side trip (because R is quite capable of side trips), it's because it wasn't your idea."

Suddenly, our entire life journey together and one of The Main Things in the way of our relating better is that I'm mostly an improviser (Yes, and) and now I have confirmed her first reaction is "not my idea, not interested."

I've been literally begging her to change that first reaction for over 30 years! It mismatches and and when I'm tired or cranky I flare into quick angry counter reactions.

Now that I'm crystal clear and have words to frame her reactions with I'll being to sift through what my creative options are to cut her out of my expectations. I have a sense it goes back to my childhood experiences straying away from normal and my parents also reacting with confusion and pestering rather than support (I was a child, I was exploring, it was usually not dangerous or illegal).

I'm sensing my plea to all these people is "Give me a F**king Yes!"
Revu2