Sorry you're struggling right now.

Sometimes, it's helpful to try some of the things you're thinking about instead of just assuming it won't help you at all. I know with my BP I can get into the place of 'all or nothing' pretty frequently. I find that just releasing a little of the pressure (whether it's anxiety, frustration, or something else) can help a lot. Try playing the video game with your brother and see if it helps, instead of assuming it won't. Maybe a handful of little things will help you to reset some.

I also always try to start with some music that is uplifting or motivating - that can really help me reset my mood into something that's more open to possibility if I'm hovering on the edge of emptiness, but not already down in the depths. Perhaps that could help you to take the first step to trying something to alleviate the feelings/anxiety you're having.