Was anyone at all helpful to you during your suicide crisis? Anyone in the hospital? I'd find someone I like/trust (professor, neighbor, someone you've known in the past) and see if they can't lend some sort of support, have some idea of how to go about it under your circumstances/in your area. It's a little worrisome to me that you have disliked 4 people in one year; that seems like more than an "average" number of helpers to go though and not very long to check them out.

I don't know what you are looking for in terms of help; what you would accept and anticipate someone helping you with? I might look for a group therapy/support group in real time and/or some way of meeting "more" people in depression/anxiety "circles" to become more familiar with what's there where you are.

I got a lot of help from a "mentor" figure I met volunteering for a library group! I was terminally shy/anxious (use to say yes to the telemarketers because I was afraid to say no) but she was supportive and I could "try" to do things (go downtown, big City with her to testify (her not me :-) before City officials) and the more I did, the easier/less anxious I got. But I've often found, as you call them, "older and wiser" people when I've volunteered and that has been helpful and led me to therapists and situations where I could better find therapists, etc.

If you aren't sure what you want/what to expect; I often read therapist websites online and imagine what seeing that/a therapist like one I'm reading about would be like. Reading the yellow pages under "psychologist" and "marriage and family counselors" and other such titles is entertaining too and germane to local people; some have websites nowadays so you could check out the therapists in your actual area and see if you like how they present themselves and make your own list from what's available.