My diagnosis of BPD was contingent on my qualifying for DBT. For a couple years... Clinicians said that while I had some borderline traits, my presentation was different and so they didn't think that I had BPD. But then when DBT was being trialled in the region they said that they thought that would really help me so I should go along and take the personality inventories and see whether I would qualify. They thought the qualifying tests were over-inclusive so they were fairly sure I would get a look in. I studied up on the BPD criteria (and read about how the MMPI was scored) in order to 'magnify' my symptoms in the appropriate direction... (I consoled myself with the thought that that was a 'very borderline thing to do) ;-)

When group started I certainly did go through a phase of wondering what the hell I was doing there. The phase lasted... About 10 months of my 12 month program. I found myself... Repulsed by some of the things that other people in the group did and by some of the things that other people in the group said. It was hard. I kept asking myself 'am I like them? is the way I see them the way other people see me?' It was hard for me identity-wise. Over time I became fonder of them, however. Gained some understanding of why they were led to say / do those things. Got a lot out of DBT too with respect to coping skills (though would never have admitted that at the time!) But they are skills that I have turned to ever since and they really help me out when times get tough.

Sounds like part of what is hard is that he hasn't conveyed understanding / appreciation of your point of view. Basically... He hasn't got the hang of the 'validating' aspect of DBT yet. I think the 'validation' is a fairly hard skill to acquire... Especially for people who have some kind of narcissistic injury... He might be feeling defensive more than anything else, which of course doesn't help you a great deal.

Can you think about why you might be feeling so upset about what happened? Do you feel... Betrayed? Do you feel... Like so much of DBT is kind of imposed on you (the structure and stuff is out of your control) and this privacy was a way of retaining some of it? I guess I'm wondering if it might help to talk to your therapist about some of those feelings. Maybe...