I would agree that your fear is something that cannot be reasoned out of you (if that's what you are saying.) That's why I'm not a big believer in therapy, as having much impact on a lot of emotional problems. Therapists, in my experience (which has been extensive,) basically try to reason you into an approach to life that is healthier. Emotional responses are intrinsically not all that rational, so you can't reason them away.

I was socially avoidant, myself. Childhood, teenage years and early adulthood were horrendously lonely for me at times. Nothing bad happened to me as a kid. I wasn't bullied by anyone. I always had the sense of being different . . . not sharing the interests of those around me. I guess, in my case, going to work forced me out of my shell a bit. I had jobs that forced me to interact. I put up with the discomfort because I needed the money. Over time, workplace interaction got less uncomfortable.

Is there anything, Bear, like my jobs, that forces you into the arena, so to speak . . . . or have you kind of taken to a reclusive lifestyle?

Human beings need relationships with others and, generally, need to find closeness and intimacy somewhere. Unmet need results in unhappiness. The loneliness you describe won't go away. At age 24, you are too young, I believe, to conclude that you're doomed to loneliness and there is nothing you can do about it. But there I go trying to reason you out of something you can't be reasoned out of.

What do you see on the horizon for yourself?

By the way, sharing on forums here is not a waste of time (unless that's all you do all day.) Even if you're just venting and not really asking, "How do I change this?" I get something out of your posts. I recognize aspects of myself in you. I am brought deeper into understanding that loneliness is part of the human condition. And, later today, when I start thinking that, "I wish I was 24 again." - I will feel reminded by your thread that it wasn't a walk in the rose garden and, maybe, I can be glad that I'm at a later stage of life.