yeah
i went inpatient once but that was a mistake.. was told they would be able to help and watch to see my symptoms but what a joke
they just increased all meds and added 3-4 more and sent me home after i made everyone believe the world was great!
doped up and even more confused, im never going back inpatient unless they take me in chains

but like you said now we know whats up with the hospital..

my brain isn't working very well either.. but definitely have to be the overseer of treatment for ourselves because it gets messy when things get complex

hang in there
helps a little having some other people that can sort of "get it"
we're here to try to support as much as we can even though i am in a messed up place myself as well