Sooooo not a 'loser'! You were triggered and flash-backy, and understandably so, even though your friend didn't get it. That was your reality, and it makes total sense to the point of being 'normal' when viewed in the context of your history. (I feel totally confident in saying that even though I don't *know* your history, because that is just one of the many valid and proven ways that human beings react to past trauma). It most probably even makes complete and utter sense in the context of your own history that you chose to stay and be triggered instead of leave and take care of yourself.

It's good that you can see what happened, and how you coped with it in the best way you could at that time, and also see that there is a different course of action that can be taken in those circumstances. One day you might even feel brave enough to choose that different way!

In the meantime, you're still not a loser. You're a human being on your very own journey, just like the rest of us. And what for you happened today is one of the linking bridges between what has been before and what will come later. You are going places.