You're not wrong. Listen to your instincts.

You think you could change for the better about being bossy. You can have better manners and not order people around to a point of normal (assuming you were really more bossy than the typical person).

You should check out your health. Go to a doctor. Fainting and possible seizure is serious health concerns.

It sounds like your BF is the problem to me, not you. You are wanting to be loved, and you deserve to be. Hold out for real love, if he is not able to give it to you.