my mom has continiously said...i know something happened to you....she keeps going back to the time when i was five and went to florida to visit my father and i came back a "hateful little girl" ..she says that i was one way...and i was never the same since....ok...so i have issues dealing with things for no real reason...i cant stand being still after being intimate...and i cant be intimate for too long or i start to feel things that i cant really explain...that doesnt mean something happened to me....and after i started dating my ex bf he started saying that after three years of being intimate with me on emotional, mental and physical levels he thinks the same thing....he thinks my moms a nutcase..no doubt...but thinks she is right none the less.....i think they are both nutcases and told them to leave me alone on the issue.....i have issues...i have nightmares....doesnt mean something happened to me....nothing happened to me....otherwise i would remember it...even if i didnt remember it....i would have a clue...right....like a nightmare....all my nightmares make sense from the other stuff that happened....and granted i have these overwhelming feelings randomly ...and i hate dealing anything that has to do with myself or my personality and character...honestly ...i am bad person.....i really am.....but anyway....why does my ex bf and my mom both have to agree on that...they arent in my brain...they would see nothing is there....i have memories of pretty much everything else...and if i can remember that than nothing is wrong with me...nothing at all.....they dont know me...know matter how much they think they do.....nothing happened...never did...never will.....and i will never remember it because there is nothing to remember....gesh...sorry everyone ...just had to get that out.