Hi nxnvn, and welcome to the forums!

Your grandfather's behavior does seem like sexual abuse to me... touching you all over is highly inappropriate, and although your memories might be fuzzy, I think you should trust that your terror of him coming in meant something. Kids may not be able to articulate exactly what is wrong about a situation, but they have a very good "antenna" for danger and harmful behavior, so I would trust that your strong fear at the time indicates there was indeed something abusive going on. Also, when he bought you those wildly inappropriate birthday gifts, what did other people in your family do?

Your friend's behavior in the second story isn't okay, those were rotten things to do to you, and you wonder how those guys are going to treat the women they date nowadays. Memories can be fuzzy, but you're remembering multiple coercive things (making you watch, touching your chest, trying to touch your genitals) which basically add up to: your friend was aggressive in a sexual way and treated you badly.

It doesn't have to be the kind of trauma you see in newspaper headlines for something to be worth discussing with your therapist. But you could start out by saying basically what you said here: "I have some memories and I'm not sure if they're a big deal or not, so I wasn't sure whether to bring them up." I bet your T will be interested to hear more.

I'm sorry that second story got blown up by the rumor mill and very sorry people are calling you a liar. A lie is intentional, and even if your memory is off on some detail here or there, you were not lying, and I suspect your memory of it is actually quite good. People who have behaved badly have a tendency to conveniently not remember their bad behavior.