Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99
I feel in major trouble. I'm scared.
The group therapist said today that I've created a world so full of magical thibking and rules that make no sense that control how i act that it's like i have a hard time understanding how things work outside my head and in reality. We were disagreeing about whether it's morally okay for me to do what i want to my own body.
He says im living in a made up world and I don't see things in reality. I know I'm sad and destructuve but never thought of myself as out of touch with reality if i go this far. They'll probably eveb refuse to see me for psychiatry because im not trying hard enough to get better.
I'm obsessing about hurting myself really badly. At what point does this become warped thinking i stead of normal SH? My head hurtS because I don' want to let everyone down. I don't want all my support will leave but I think they will. It makes me sad and scared.
I don't know... Rambling. I feel unwell and in trouble.
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The magical thinking and rules sound like OCD--you've been officially diagnosed with that, right? Trying to remember. Is it possible they could try you on either an additional medication or a different one? Ideally while in the hospital in case you have side effects. It doesn't seem fair that they say you're not trying to do enough to get better, yet you're just put in the hospital with little support/therapy, and the p-doc won't increase your meds or give you different ones. I mean, if you had, say, cancer, they wouldn't be like, "She's not trying to get better enough on her own, so let's not do the chemo anymore." I wish there was a way you could go someplace and be safe while also having support.
And I don't think it's that you're out of touch with reality but that you're in so much pain, you can't handle that along with regular life. How does it help you to tell you you're living in a made-up world?
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