The magical thinking and rules sound like OCD--you've been officially diagnosed with that, right? Trying to remember. Is it possible they could try you on either an additional medication or a different one? Ideally while in the hospital in case you have side effects. It doesn't seem fair that they say you're not trying to do enough to get better, yet you're just put in the hospital with little support/therapy, and the p-doc won't increase your meds or give you different ones. I mean, if you had, say, cancer, they wouldn't be like, "She's not trying to get better enough on her own, so let's not do the chemo anymore." I wish there was a way you could go someplace and be safe while also having support.

And I don't think it's that you're out of touch with reality but that you're in so much pain, you can't handle that along with regular life. How does it help you to tell you you're living in a made-up world?