Thank you so much for your concern. I've essentially given up on meds. It seems as if I've tried everything except ECT. I take a lot of Depakote, which is potentially dangerous, and I'm not sure it's even doing me any good, but I'm too afraid of mania during transition to try anything else. State-licensed weed vapor (which, as my avatar indicates, has turned me green) and prescribed benzodiazepines keep me from freaking out, but I easily develop a tolerance for them, and I've heard that benzodiazepine addiction is hell.