Thank you all, I find helpful advice in all of this and I appreciate the support here. Some things to think about. I have paid most of the expenses and yes I do think of things for us to do, so we aren't stuck just sitting around. He has deeper issues from his childhood, but he is getting older and should be able to control his temper. I get that he can be forgetful but he has also said he has never seen a memory like mine and he doesn't like that I can be more sure of what was said. He admitted this, but it's not perfection or complete honesty that I'm looking for. Everyone slips up and makes mistakes. But I think Tisha may be right, I have excellent manners, treat him well, and I have told myself to wake up, I'm being drawn more by my heart than my head in this relationship. I need support and may actually be desperate in my situation, but I'm tired of heading out there looking for a new one. No one is the "right one", but I certainly could have thought more about everything sooner. Thanks again, I will also get the kidneys checked eventually, and what healing said, I didn't realize it could be a partial seizure.