Hi everyone

OK so I messed up bad like real bad without getting into too much detail I did something out of character and horrible. In turn this hurt my wife and family and now I was forced out of the home by protection order. My wife got hers removed so we could talk and she decided to stay with me though I dunno why. I love her so much and miss all of them I see her daily as she comes where I am staying to visit talk cuddle etc but not sure how too stop feeling like its gonna end up for nothing. I mean she and I do not like the word divorce and we both love each other but what I did was beyond bad and without being allowed home I need to work on me and us and future but need to make sure I go back to the me I used too be. This was alcohol related as well as marital and financial stress related. Any advice would be appreciated as to how to make it work when living apart and fixing how bad I hurt her and her trust towards me. FYI I am leaving out details of what I did too not be judged by people I feel horrible enough.

Thanks