23 years clean here, but I am going through hell in my marriage(separated soon to be divorced maybe). I did something really stupid yesterday. I bought a bag of dope. brought it home and was going to use but at the last second I opted not to. now it sits in my drawer ready to help me escape for a couple of hours just teasing me. Why the hell would I do this to myself, it is going to take a lot of will power to go home and get rid of it.