Hmmmm, not sure how to tread on an answer. I make my comment with great difficulty.

There is no ignorring that whatever you did it was bad enough to warrant a protection order. At least you are acknowledging it. I will say my concern is for her as she seems to be ignorring the measures put in place for her (and your family's ?) safety. I personally don't find her behavior appropriate in this case. It suggests to me a co-dependency. Both of you need help. The best thing you can do if you care for this woman is to urge her to get professional help. I would seek out some for yourself.

You have mentioned alcohol fuelled this. Perhaps AA is in order? I would recommend she seek out Al-Anon for her own support requirements.

Finally, I am not suggesting you don't continue to see her but I don't believe private time is in order.

Again, I am fully aware I rock the boat here but my intent is to actually be helpful.