Going through a divorce is such an emotional challenge. It just sounds like you are really struggling emotionally and in the past you addressed that by self medicating so you could get a break from the emotional struggle.

The good news is that you chose not to use. Being clean for 23 years is something to be very proud of. When you struggle often the best thing to do is go to an AA meeting so you have a place to vent where others understand the challenge and can listen and offer support. My husband just celebrated being sober for 25 years and we have been facing some big challenges and he has been going to a lot of meetings to get support, it helps him remember that by using to escape he only makes challenges even harder.

Remember, going through a divorce is a big life challenge, it can bring on some big emotional challenges so make an effort to find support, remember that you deserve to have support, to continue your path of being sober and you know that for 23 years you have managed to face challenges and not run away towards self medicating.