I've recently realised I've been trying to do my therapy work 'perfectly', become the 'perfect human being'.. Someone who
never hurts anyone else. And I've only done it so I could show my mother 'This is how you should have been!'
I need to stop. It's
exhausting trying to be perfect as it's something I can never achieve.. Also, I feel I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. There is no way I can change my mum. If she ever chooses to change, it'll be
totally her decision. It's not my responsibility, so I can stop trying!
I feel it's a very noble thing, trying to become someone who hurts others as little as possible.. I still want to keep getting better but I'm always going to make mistakes. I've also begun to feel like I'm wasting my life not having any fun along the way. I just thought I could make my mum see what she's done wrong.. But it's not my place - it's up to her! I can just
say she was a bully and leave it at that - I don't have to try and change her.
I'm going to be imperfect from now on and love myself like that, walking my own path