For me it is similar. Family keeps me tethered to this earth. My parents, sister, nieces and nephews. Once when I was very suicidal I could rationalise the adults in my family would be able to go on without me but when I thought of my nieces and nephews their innocence struck me. I just couldn't take their beloved aunty from them. Secondly I sometimes wonder what I will be missing out on in life in general. My curiosity gets the best of me. I wonder about world events I will miss and small joys in life should I get well again. Rarely the depression/mixed is so dark that I cannot see any light. At those times I am hospitalised to keep me safe till I see some light.